Five Friends

"The issue of male relationships, friendships, raises a range of issues not least concerning mental wellbeing. Yet there is an on-going difficulty for many men in being able to forge and keep intimate relations with other men. Five Friends unpacks the issues around intimate male relationships in an engaging and sensitive manner. The film demonstrates -- through personal accounts, examination of the media, and interviews with a key academic -- the joys, benefits, but also the challenges that can accrue when men open themselves up to sharing their lives with other men. The film would be of great value in provoking discussion on gender and masculinities within academic settings but could also be useful within community settings where there is a desire to demonstrate the value that male support and companionship can bring."

"The film shows the racial, age, and class diversity that can occur between men friends and how they can engage in deeply moving discussions about feelings, life, marriages lost, and relationships won. Sociologist Michael Kimmel intersperses commentary that helps give a broader view of men's friendships than just the idiosyncratic view offered by Hank et al. This helps to round out an understanding of the topic of male friendships. In Hank's view, men's friendships should involve open discussions about feelings. Men should work toward a physically and emotionally expressive relationship with other men. Only then, Hank believes, can true connections be made. Men are often afraid to express their emotions and vulnerabilities to other men. Not Hank. In one great scene in the movie, he is having breakfast with a friend who is cooking up scrambled eggs. As they sit down to eat, Hank tells his friend he gets jealous when he hears this friend is going off with other guys for a weekend. He feels left out and wants to be included. It is a well-done and understated scene that I think speaks to what many other men would feel in this situation but would never feel comfortable saying. The men in the video are nested in families; though women and children play only a peripheral role in this film, Erik Santiago opens and closes the movie with his feelings about the birth of his first son -- who appears in the final scene. Men's groups in particular might enjoy the film but anyone working with men who have problems with getting close to other men could also benefit."